My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
