Don't you send me to vm
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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