im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
