Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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