she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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