at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
its liver damage thursday
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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