I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
