He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
