doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You left your phone here
Wait...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
