Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
