I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
