In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
