You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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