I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
