all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
