Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
