What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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