Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
