so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
