note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
