i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
