god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
