I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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