that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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