so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love having hate sex.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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