im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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