woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
