I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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