did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
