youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
