don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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