He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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