This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
