sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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