You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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