You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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