My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
