a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
