you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
