did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
