so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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