just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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