OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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