hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
