and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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