why do cheetos always look like penises
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
