it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
