what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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