I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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