walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
